I used to go dancing with a female friend and we got to know another guy – let’s call him Wally. We used to sit on the same table. He was what Neil Strauss in ‘The Game’ would call an AFC (an average frustrated chump). Although he was a bit off the wall and did actually dress like Wally we enjoyed his company and had a few laughs.
Then all of a sudden he started leaving a spare chair beside him and one by one women started coming up to him and laughing at his jokes. As one got up to leave another jumped into the chair.
As the weeks went past he became in a rush to get to our usual table so that he could position himself and make sure the spare chair was there. Previously a fairly heavy drinker he started to drink less ‘because he was having so much sex’.
Then one day he was rude to me, so I decided to give him a much wider berth. He continued to attract women like moths to a light until one day I commented on his newfound success with women. Without batting an eyelid he told me ‘I’ve worked at it’
As soon as he said that I said ‘you’ve read The Game’ haven’t you?’. He did not need to reply but the colour that rushed to his face gave me the answer. I now recognise that the rude comment he had made to me months earlier was probably what in The Game Strauss calls ‘negging’ or saying something negative to lower the self esteem of the woman (in order to make her more vulnerable to the seduction).
Some months later while Wally was still in full flow picking up women, a friend from South Africa came to stay with me. Since she was going home the next day I suggested that she came dancing with me and warned her that as an attractive young woman Wally would definitely ‘hit on’ her.
Sure enough he came up to where we were both sitting. He started talking to her with a pick up line and I said ‘that’s page 73’. As he continued I said ‘page 94’ and continued this little game for a while. A bit taken aback he could see the funny side of it.
For me the very interesting thing about this little interaction is that my friend who is quite reticent with men and is always cautious about giving out her number who was going home the next day and knew that he was following a formula for picking up women still gave him her number and her email!
If you would like to follow the whole story of The Evolution of Love please go to the contents page below which includes links to all the chapters.
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