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Changing negative beliefs, Chats, Interpersonal skills, Learning a Skill, People Skills, Psychology, Uncategorized, Work skills


Remove the blocks to your life and succeed

Now all the exercise videos and New Year’s resolutions are out of the way and the diet is a long distant memory. You might feel frustrated that another year has gone past and you still haven’t changed your job, moved house, found a partner or taken the plunge back into education. If you don’t want to be sitting here the same time next having the same thoughts, you must take some action to remove some of the blocks that may stand in your way and make 2017 the year that you succeed.

If you want to change your life for the better, you need to take some different actions. So now is a good time to do a life audit. Get a drink and a pen and paper and sit down for a few moments to reflect on where you are now–what makes you happy, sad, excited or frustrated in your current circumstances? Then reflect on where you would like to be at this time next year. Don’t be bashful, include all your hopes and dreams.

Then looking at what you have written reflect on what actions you would need to take to get you to where you want to be. This is a very simple technique, but it’s also an incredibly powerful tool to show you what steps you need to take to move towards your dreams. Even better than doing this on your own, get a friend to do this with you and share your thoughts with each other. It’s amazing what issues come up that you did not realise were on your mind and what positive steps you can take to move towards where you want to be.

Often when faced with new challenges we say we can’t do things for a variety of reasons – we think we are, too old, too young, too fat, too thin, not attractive enough, under qualified, over qualified, and not brave enough. We also look at  the downturn of the economy and the job market and reassure ourselves that people are not recruiting or employing people like us. We might also say to ourselves that I’ve tried it before and it didn’t work.

In order to combat these negative thoughts, which will prevent you from achieving your goals you have to look at your beliefs systems. Most people have negative beliefs, which they use to prevent themselves from being successful. As a change consultant, I have worked with thousands of clients over the past 20 years and know for certain that these blocks can be removed.

One very simple way to reverse negative thinking is to take one of your negative beliefs for example ‘I am too old to get another job’ and replace it with a more positive one ‘I have the skills and abilities to get a suitable job for me’. Immediately you have this different idea in your head your mind starts looking for actions it can take support this new belief. As you read this you might be very sceptical about your ability to get another job – and will probably think I just don’t understand the job market and the impossibility of getting another job.

All I ask is that you remain open minded to that new possibility being true. My experience working with coaching clients over many years shows that once they are able to shift their thinking to believe that a goal might be possible, they are then prepared to improve their skills to increase their chance of success.

Often jobseekers will say they made hundreds of applications and received nothing back. When in reality they are just going through the motions. First you have to believe that something is possible and then you have to develop the skills to make that possibility happen. Far too often their attempts are half-hearted, unprofessional and unfocused.

So once you have shifted your belief that something is possible, then it’s time to address any skills that you lack. If you are stressed, tired, lacking in funds, learn to be more assertive. If you need a new job, make sure your CV is professional and sells your skills, then spend some time learning the techniques of self  marketing and coming across well at the interview. It’s amazing how few people give any thought to how they present themselves. If you want a relationship, develop a relationship with yourself first, have something to talk about, and have other interests in your life apart from finding ‘the one’.

13817182_10154441434072491_1461565472_nWhatever your dreams learn to build rapport with people, this will make you come across as relaxed and friendly encouraging them to want to help you to achieve your goals. Find something you like about a person to comment on to start a conversation, then ask them a question about themselves and remember that most people are as nervous about meeting new people as you are.

If you revisit your beliefs about what it possible, develop your skills to make this possibility more likely to happen and learn to build rapport with people, 2017 could be your year to make your dreams a reality.

Pamela E Milne is Director of Solutions Unlimited and is author of the People Skills Revolution published by Global Professional Publishing which enables you to develop all the skills required to achieve your goals in 2017. 

With thanks to Eleanor Pitman for permission to use her photographs

The information in this blog is copyright and cannot be reproduced in any form without the prior consent in writing of the author.


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