The central theme of the book is to:
‘Develop the beliefs, acquire the knowledge and learn the skills to love and accept yourself in order to be able to love and accept others’.
Three principles are central to the book:
We all have a drive towards completion, which influences the experiences that we attract towards us, and our choice of partner.
The relationships you will have are a reflection of your own personal development. So if you want a better relationship you need to develop a better relationship with yourself.
Learning to love is like learning a language, being good at a sport or learning to play an instrument. It is a skill that needs to be learnt.
Here are the heart lines…….
It all started when one of the team members had gone to the Philippines to find a wife. This was followed by each of them in turn going to get themselves a Pilipino bride.
According to the team leader instead of manually chemically referencing drugs now he spent his time resolving arguments between the husbands and the wives and between the wives themselves and between the husbands.
Based on the concept of Transactional Analysis devised by Eric Berne in the 1960’s and outlined in his book Games People Play, this therapeutic approach looks at human interaction in terms of parent, adult, child states. In this book Berne suggests that we play games to get our needs for attention met, when we are … Continue reading
When working with clients who understood the nature of games and had excellent interpersonal skills a few of them came across people whose behaviour they just could not deal with. These people who we labeled ‘arch manipulators’ could create chaos where none had existed before, set one party against another when before they got on … Continue reading
The Psychic and His Russian Girlfriend I was in a meeting where a psychic (who looked remarkable like Uriah Heep the obsequious and ‘ever so umble’ clerk from Dicken’s David Copperfield) was giving a talk. He started his lecture by saying he was going to talk about ‘Trust’. He then proceeded to tell us that … Continue reading
Internet Dating Scams The last aspect of impoverished love that I would like to talk about is the world of internet dating scams. When I first started internet dating I talked to someone who looked really handsome in his profile picture. He said he was Portuguese and worked in the diamond industry and lived in … Continue reading
The Nature of Obsession When talking about impoverished love I also wanted to mention the nature of obsession. Having been obsessed myself on quite a few occasions and for quite a length of time, I mentioned this to my female friends and much to my surprise I found that obsession has often been part of … Continue reading
The Rise of Porn – Impoverished Love When I was younger pornographic magazines, used to be available on the top shelf of dodgy newsagents and I was not really aware of it as I was growing up. Now we live in an age when porn, rightly or wrongly is readily and freely … Continue reading
The Rise of ‘Fun’ Another form of impoverished love is what I would call ‘the rise of fun.’ I included it in the section on impoverished love because it describes behaviour which is impoverished – but it’s not love at all and makes no real pretence at love. After talking to many men on the … Continue reading
This level of ‘love’ is characterised by a lack of discrimination in chosen partners. The worst examples of this behaviour can be seen on shows like Jeremy Kyle or Jerry Springer. When people go on these shows they have often met through social media, got pregnant within weeks or even days of meeting, switch partners when they are on ‘a break’, which might just be overnight, and seem to enjoy the attention they get from arguing about their partner and the relationship on national television.
What fascinates me about this type of relationship is that when warring couples are asked why they are still together often whilst being held back by the security staff, they say ‘ but we love each other’. This is because they are used to an impoverished template of love. Continue reading