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Influencing

This category contains 28 posts

Open the door to influence

As an executive coach, for the past 12 years I have been assisting clients to get different outcomes by using a very predictable and successful stage-by-stage model. I have called this approach ‘The cycle of influence’. After learning these skills people often achieve immediate results, after trying unsuccessfully to get things done for them by … Continue reading

Contents Page – The Evolution of Love – with links to all chapters

The book is a cumulative build so that one chapter builds on the previous one so that at the end there is a coherent story about relationships in the twenty first century. Having said that I have also written all the chapters in such a way that they can be ‘stand alone’ blogs. The list of contents and the date I posted each blog is below to help orientate you around the book. Continue reading

How to excel during a Competency Based Interview – the Life Book for Work

It is very likely that an organisation using competency based recruitment will have indicated that they will be using this approach right from the very beginning and it will be built into the early selection process as well as the interview. So once you have decided to apply for a position you should start to collect evidence from your experience to demonstrate that you have that skill. Continue reading

How to answer those pesky job interview questions – The Life Book for Work

Unless it is a completely different job from the ones you have done previously you should make your current job sound remarkably like the job you are being interviewed for. Look at the job specification and highlight all the similarities and common skills that are required in both jobs. Continue reading

Get that Job – How to impress at the interview

The first thing to understand is that although there seems to be an apparently limit less number of questions that could be asked there are really only three. And these are:

Can you do the job?

Do you want the job?

Will you fit in?

Every question you will be asked will address one of these three concerns. The strange thing is that most interviewers won’t even know this. Continue reading

A Sceptical View of Romantic Love -Romantic Love – The Evolution of Love

Foley suggests that after the dream wedding, the problems that were suppressed during the illusion of romantic love return, observing that ‘no one is easy to live with’, there are only ‘degrees of difficulty’. He strikes a chord when he says that instead of being encrusted with diamonds we are all a bundle ‘of irritating beliefs, habits, superstitions, neuroses, moods, ailments, indulgences and bad taste not to mention appalling relatives and inexplicable friends.’ Continue reading

The Psychological Bingo Board and Relationships -The Evolution of Love

In my previous blog I talked about a concept called the Psychological Bingo Board and explained how we in effect programme our personality based on the behaviours and beliefs which enable us to get attention when we are growing up. The idea behind the Psychological Bingo Board is that we have within us potentially all … Continue reading

Let’s Play Psychological Bingo – The Evolution of Love

This is longer than my other posts – I hope you will stay with me – it’s interesting!! Sometimes I find it quite hard to track how the ideas in the book came about because it was an evolving and iterative process. One thought led to another until a way of thinking was developed which … Continue reading

The Story of Wally – The Evolution of Love

I used to go dancing with a female friend and we got to know another guy – let’s call him Wally. We used to sit on the same table. He was what Neil Strauss in ‘The Game’ would call an AFC (an average frustrated chump). Although he was a bit off the wall and did … Continue reading

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth…..- The Evolution of Love

A publisher once said to me that women buy self-help books and share them with their men. Although I am sure this is generally true, men do buy and read books like the international best seller ‘The Game’ and ‘Rules of the Game’ by Neil Strauss in which he tells the (AFC) Average Frustrated Chump … Continue reading