The central theme of the book is to:
‘Develop the beliefs, acquire the knowledge and learn the skills to love and accept yourself in order to be able to love and accept others’.
Three principles are central to the book:
We all have a drive towards completion, which influences the experiences that we attract towards us, and our choice of partner.
The relationships you will have are a reflection of your own personal development. So if you want a better relationship you need to develop a better relationship with yourself.
Learning to love is like learning a language, being good at a sport or learning to play an instrument. It is a skill that needs to be learnt.
Here are the heart lines…….
Now all the exercise videos and New Year’s resolutions are out of the way and the diet is a long distant memory. You might feel frustrated that another year has gone past and you still haven’t changed your job, moved house, found a partner or taken the plunge back into education. If you don’t want to be sitting here the same time next having the same thoughts, you must take some action to remove some of the blocks that may stand in your way and make 2017 the year that you succeed. Continue reading
The main reason I believe that people feel so nervous about writing reports is that the education system so poorly prepares people for the world of work and most people leave school or university believing that they cannot write because they have been constantly criticised, although at no time did these establishments tell people how to write. Continue reading
There has been an explosion of ‘Mindfulness’ in the media over the last 10 years and the internet is full of millions of resources, courses and mindful colouring, much of it free. Ironically this only serves to confuse the issue. However there are in fact a number of ‘core’ practices that crop up time and time again and can be considered to be central tools of the Mindfulness approach. Continue reading
When working with clients who understood the nature of games and had excellent interpersonal skills a few of them came across people whose behaviour they just could not deal with. These people who we labeled ‘arch manipulators’ could create chaos where none had existed before, set one party against another when before they got on … Continue reading
The book is a cumulative build so that one chapter builds on the previous one so that at the end there is a coherent story about relationships in the twenty first century. Having said that I have also written all the chapters in such a way that they can be ‘stand alone’ blogs. The list of contents and the date I posted each blog is below to help orientate you around the book. Continue reading
So how do you answer the salary question if it is asked in an interview? The simple answer is that you need to be vague and talk in terms of ranges. It is probable that the company have given some idea of the salary either in an advert, through an agency or through informal inquiries before you applied. When you put in your application there will be an assumption that the salary on offer is more or less in line with what you are likely to accept. Having said that in most roles there is some opportunity to negotiate – even in public sector appointments. Continue reading
If you have been in an interview which was over quickly and never seemed to ‘take off’ it is probably because you have answered this question poorly.
Without awareness of the rules of the ‘interview game’ most people answer this question badly and often reply with the equivalent of ‘well you are a warm and cuddly company and I think I would be happy here’.
If you answer the question like this you are not saying anything interesting, memorable or unique and you will also come across as self-interested. Continue reading
You would have been raised by people who you knew loved you and were prepared to express and demonstrate this, they would have always been there for you, established clear boundaries to help you feel safe, helped you to adopt a clear set of values, taken time to listen to and helped you to interpret your feelings, thoughts and ideas, encouraged you in all your interests, validated your emotions and assisted you in your emotional development. They would have helped you to be the best you could be, celebrated your achievements, accepted your weaknesses, encouraged you to be empathetic with others, given you constructive feedback when they thought it would help you and taught you to give constructive feedback when you were unhappy about someone else’s behaviour. They would have allowed you to depend on them when you were young and celebrated your independence when you were ready. Finally they would have modelled a successful and loving relationship with a partner. Continue reading
Unless it is a completely different job from the ones you have done previously you should make your current job sound remarkably like the job you are being interviewed for. Look at the job specification and highlight all the similarities and common skills that are required in both jobs. Continue reading