The central theme of the book is to:
‘Develop the beliefs, acquire the knowledge and learn the skills to love and accept yourself in order to be able to love and accept others’.
Three principles are central to the book:
We all have a drive towards completion, which influences the experiences that we attract towards us, and our choice of partner.
The relationships you will have are a reflection of your own personal development. So if you want a better relationship you need to develop a better relationship with yourself.
Learning to love is like learning a language, being good at a sport or learning to play an instrument. It is a skill that needs to be learnt.
Here are the heart lines…….
I have always read the papers and stuff and seen articles about people who’ve committed suicide and I used to think “You selfish so and so. How can you do something like that?” but there’s time at the beginning where you think – you kind of know how they feel. When I look at my 3 kids, I couldn’t do that to them. I am not saying I have not sat there and thought I was going to do it but I have sat there and thought I understand and can see how you can sink into a mad place, where you just think, you know what forget this. But I have been lucky. I have had so many people around me, who have been tight around me’.
Essentially you take a graph. One side has the level of crazy and the other side has the level of ‘hotness’. Now I watched a ‘You Tube’ video, which went through a schematic analysis of where different kinds of girls fit. Essentially you have the coolness scale mixed with the craziness scale. So you have the crazy line and then finally you have a super attractive girl who is not crazy, who is super cool and you get on really well with – the Unicorn. Continue reading
Foley suggests that after the dream wedding, the problems that were suppressed during the illusion of romantic love return, observing that ‘no one is easy to live with’, there are only ‘degrees of difficulty’. He strikes a chord when he says that instead of being encrusted with diamonds we are all a bundle ‘of irritating beliefs, habits, superstitions, neuroses, moods, ailments, indulgences and bad taste not to mention appalling relatives and inexplicable friends.’ Continue reading