Now all the exercise videos and New Year’s resolutions are out of the way and the diet is a long distant memory. You might feel frustrated that another year has gone past and you still haven’t changed your job, moved house, found a partner or taken the plunge back into education. If you don’t want to be sitting here the same time next having the same thoughts, you must take some action to remove some of the blocks that may stand in your way and make 2017 the year that you succeed. Continue reading
Based on the concept of Transactional Analysis devised by Eric Berne in the 1960’s and outlined in his book Games People Play, this therapeutic approach looks at human interaction in terms of parent, adult, child states. In this book Berne suggests that we play games to get our needs for attention met, when we are … Continue reading
The book is a cumulative build so that one chapter builds on the previous one so that at the end there is a coherent story about relationships in the twenty first century. Having said that I have also written all the chapters in such a way that they can be ‘stand alone’ blogs. The list of contents and the date I posted each blog is below to help orientate you around the book. Continue reading
So how do you answer the salary question if it is asked in an interview? The simple answer is that you need to be vague and talk in terms of ranges. It is probable that the company have given some idea of the salary either in an advert, through an agency or through informal inquiries before you applied. When you put in your application there will be an assumption that the salary on offer is more or less in line with what you are likely to accept. Having said that in most roles there is some opportunity to negotiate – even in public sector appointments. Continue reading
Unless it is a completely different job from the ones you have done previously you should make your current job sound remarkably like the job you are being interviewed for. Look at the job specification and highlight all the similarities and common skills that are required in both jobs. Continue reading
The first thing to understand is that although there seems to be an apparently limit less number of questions that could be asked there are really only three. And these are:
Can you do the job?
Do you want the job?
Will you fit in?
Every question you will be asked will address one of these three concerns. The strange thing is that most interviewers won’t even know this. Continue reading
‘The reason why we have so much trouble with relationships today, maybe our neglect of its study. We expect to find intimacy naturally without education or initiation. When we fail in this area, we assume that we must have some inborn lack. But the fact is we do nothing well in life and that includes intimacy unless we have the schooled imagination for it.’ Continue reading
In talking to hundreds of men over the past few years one thing I have been struck by is the need they have for adventure. It would seem that a lot of men who have been married for many years, love their wives and family and don’t want to jeopardise their lifestyle. However they don’t seem to be having the level of sex that they would like and they are bored. They are crying out for adventure. Continue reading
The Power of Groups Groups can replicate the family dynamic and be very uncomfortable places to be. They can also be incredibly healing places too. I used to avoid groups like the plague because I found that my old stories of inclusion and exclusion played out again in the groups I was part of. This … Continue reading
If we are raised in a family where we have to put on a mask (or adopt a persona) in order to fit in, we are likely to attract another person wearing a mask when it comes to having relationships. It takes something like experience the men went through in ‘The Lonely Hearts Club’ where they were able to be present in a non judgemental and accepting environment for our masks to fall away. Continue reading