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People Skills Revolution

This tag is associated with 26 posts

Open the door to influence

As an executive coach, for the past 12 years I have been assisting clients to get different outcomes by using a very predictable and successful stage-by-stage model. I have called this approach ‘The cycle of influence’. After learning these skills people often achieve immediate results, after trying unsuccessfully to get things done for them by … Continue reading

Contents Page – The Evolution of Love – with links to all chapters

The book is a cumulative build so that one chapter builds on the previous one so that at the end there is a coherent story about relationships in the twenty first century. Having said that I have also written all the chapters in such a way that they can be ‘stand alone’ blogs. The list of contents and the date I posted each blog is below to help orientate you around the book. Continue reading

How to recognise an arch-manipulator

What arch manipulators do is create chaos where none existed before and know what ‘buttons’ to press to get people to act emotionally and fall out with people that they used to previously get on with. When this over reaction occurs the spotlight is taken off the manipulator who can then carve out a pathway to their goal. Continue reading

Teamwork Love- the Evolution of Love

Coming back to where we started that marriage is a gamble ‘by two people who don’t yet know who they are or who the other might be’. For a relationship to succeed and evolve both parties need to take responsibility for their own happiness and address their own needs for development. This involves learning to accept themselves but also learning to accept the other as they are. You can’t expect them to change. If the partner chooses to change, that is a bonus and this joint development will allow them to move forward together. Continue reading

The Continuum Of Love – The Evolution of Love

Having read many books on relationships I realised that much of the information was conflicting and much of the advice was manipulative. Then I hit on the idea that the reason that the advice was conflicting is that they were talking about different types of relationships Once I realised this, I used the idea of … Continue reading

Let’s Play Psychological Bingo – The Evolution of Love

This is longer than my other posts – I hope you will stay with me – it’s interesting!! Sometimes I find it quite hard to track how the ideas in the book came about because it was an evolving and iterative process. One thought led to another until a way of thinking was developed which … Continue reading

How to think more positively about yourself and others

I used to have very negative beliefs about myself. My Mum was a worrier and always anxious about everything. In fact if she was not worrying she was worried that there was nothing to worry about. I learnt this behaviour – my head was my head and I was used to it – it was … Continue reading

The Ladder to Success – the continuum of interpersonal skills

The Ladder to Success – the Continuum of Interpersonal Skills I have been in the privileged position of working a number of clients for a very long time. When I started off a lot of the courses were related to personal development and management development but as time progressed they offered me the opportunity to … Continue reading

Controlling emotions during negotiation

Negotiation – During a negotiation, how do I prevent-control my emotions (e.g. fear, anger, excessive happiness)? Well the simplest answer is that you don’t start from here! In the past when I was running negotiation skills workshops and pairs had to negotiate a very simple negotiation exercise I noticed that people who were passive very … Continue reading

Assertiveness – What signals/symptoms tell me that I’m being too assertive?

This question reminds me of when I worked in a large drug company and did performance appraisal follow ups. When they described the behaviour of their staff I would often say ‘sounds as though they could do with an assertiveness course’. More often than not they would turn white, look distressed and say ‘but they … Continue reading

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