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playing games

This tag is associated with 8 posts

Understanding the drama triangle

Based on the concept of Transactional Analysis devised by Eric Berne in the 1960’s and outlined in his book Games People Play, this therapeutic approach looks at human interaction in terms of parent, adult, child states. In this book Berne suggests that we play games to get our needs for attention met, when we are … Continue reading

The Rise of Fun – Impoverished Love – the Evolution of love

The Rise of ‘Fun’ Another form of impoverished love is what I would call ‘the rise of fun.’ I included it in the section on impoverished love because it describes behaviour which is impoverished – but it’s not love at all and makes no real pretence at love. After talking to many men on the … Continue reading

Impoverished Relationships – The Evolution of love

This level of ‘love’ is characterised by a lack of discrimination in chosen partners. The worst examples of this behaviour can be seen on shows like Jeremy Kyle or Jerry Springer. When people go on these shows they have often met through social media, got pregnant within weeks or even days of meeting, switch partners when they are on ‘a break’, which might just be overnight, and seem to enjoy the attention they get from arguing about their partner and the relationship on national television.

What fascinates me about this type of relationship is that when warring couples are asked why they are still together often whilst being held back by the security staff, they say ‘ but we love each other’. This is because they are used to an impoverished template of love. Continue reading

The Continuum Of Love – The Evolution of Love

Having read many books on relationships I realised that much of the information was conflicting and much of the advice was manipulative. Then I hit on the idea that the reason that the advice was conflicting is that they were talking about different types of relationships Once I realised this, I used the idea of … Continue reading

Key Ideas in the Book – The Evolution of Love

The Evolution of Love – Key Ideas in the Book Reflections on relationship books The first thing I discovered when reading many, many books on relationships was that a lot of them were highly manipulative.  The books for women tended to focus on how to ‘hook’ a man and get him down the aisle. Whilst … Continue reading

Controlling emotions during negotiation

Negotiation – During a negotiation, how do I prevent-control my emotions (e.g. fear, anger, excessive happiness)? Well the simplest answer is that you don’t start from here! In the past when I was running negotiation skills workshops and pairs had to negotiate a very simple negotiation exercise I noticed that people who were passive very … Continue reading

People Skills Revolution Handbook Book Review

Here is a review of my book the People Skills Revolution Handbook from James A. Cox, Editor-in-Chief , California Bookwatch, Midwest Book Review “The People Skills Revolution: A Step by Step Approach to Developing Sophisticated People Skills provides a fine companion to The People Skills Revolution and provides exercises to help absorb the concepts in … Continue reading

The continuum of love

In the past the course of a pairing relationship was highly prescribed in many societies. There used to be a period of courtship, without sexual contact, which progressed on to marriage where the responsibilities of men and women in relationships where clearly prescribed. Generally speaking the women looked after the home and the children and … Continue reading

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