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Spirituality

This tag is associated with 17 posts

Mindfulness, Magic and Emotional Release

Although I have read many books on meditation and mindfulness, I have rarely read anything about experiencing emotional release. So I just want to tell you about it – just in case you experience it yourself. If you have never felt a flood of emotions or muscle release during meditation don’t worry – this is perfectly normal. If you have – I want to tell you that this is also perfectly normal although I suspect much rarer and nothing to be worried about. The way I look at it is that whilst these emotions and tensions are buried in your body they are not doing you any good so allowing them to be released in a gentle and controlled way when you are in charge can only be a healing experience. Continue reading

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Contents Page – The Evolution of Love – with links to all chapters

The book is a cumulative build so that one chapter builds on the previous one so that at the end there is a coherent story about relationships in the twenty first century. Having said that I have also written all the chapters in such a way that they can be ‘stand alone’ blogs. The list of contents and the date I posted each blog is below to help orientate you around the book. Continue reading

The Palestinian Orthopaedic Surgeon Who Trained In Slovakia And Used To Be A Male Model -The Evolution of Love

We went for a drink in the station bar and were having a chat when I noticed on the train timetable screen that there was train back to London in 25 minutes. So I told him that I could not go through with the weekend although I was happy to answer any questions that he had. I felt terrible for doing this but I just knew that it would have been a mistake to stay. So I got back on the train and looked wistfully out of the window and reflected on what might have been. Continue reading

The Meetings – The Evolution of Love

Each session was usually instigated by something that was on our mind or something that had happened to us in the intervening period. We found that the sessions had a natural progression and a unique timeliness about them. We also realised how much our own friendship was deepening as we learnt to value each other and develop strategies to enhance our connection and communication. This was a very real and unexpected outcome of our work together. Continue reading

Learning How to Love – The Evolution of Love

‘The reason why we have so much trouble with relationships today, maybe our neglect of its study. We expect to find intimacy naturally without education or initiation. When we fail in this area, we assume that we must have some inborn lack. But the fact is we do nothing well in life and that includes intimacy unless we have the schooled imagination for it.’ Continue reading

Limbic Development and Relationships – The Evolution of Love

It is interesting that when Veronica and I first started to work together to explore relationships, it never occurred to us that as the time progressed we would effectively limbically develop each other. However from the outset we set clear boundaries, researched topics of interest and relevance, participated enthusiastically in each other’s planned activities, gave each other positive and constructive feedback and were committed to attending the meetings. As I have mentioned before much to our surprise we did not talk about men very often or relationships for that matter. Continue reading

Limbic ( or Emotional ) Development – Emotions and relationships – The Evolution of Love

The authors suggest that most of our emotional development is achieved during our pre verbal years and requires ‘mountains of repetition’ and ‘years of long-standing togetherness’ to write permanent changes into a brain’s open book. In a relationship one mind revises another; one heart changes its partner. Continue reading

Attachment Theory – The Evolution of Love

To be securely attached you would have experienced all or most of the following ingredients in your childhood:-

You would have been raised by people who you knew loved you and were prepared to express and demonstrate this, they would have always been there for you, established clear boundaries to help you feel safe, helped you to adopt a clear set of values, taken time to listen to and helped you to interpret your feelings, thoughts and ideas, encouraged you in all your interests, validated your emotions and assisted you in your emotional development. They would have helped you to be the best you could be, celebrated your achievements, accepted your weaknesses, encouraged you to be empathetic with others, given you constructive feedback when they thought it would help you and taught you to give constructive feedback when you were unhappy about someone else’s behaviour. They would have allowed you to depend on them when you were young and celebrated your independence when you were ready. Finally they would have modelled a successful and loving relationship with a partner. Continue reading

Evolving Love – The Evolution of Love

For us, evolving love was a journey rather than a destination. We realised that as we changed, it would change. We also realised that people we had previously been attracted ceased to interest us and people with different qualities started coming into our lives (or maybe we just started to notice them).

Although there is no map or template, for this part of the journey we did gather hints or suggestions from some of the authors who have eluded to it. Continue reading

Teamwork Love- the Evolution of Love

Coming back to where we started that marriage is a gamble ‘by two people who don’t yet know who they are or who the other might be’. For a relationship to succeed and evolve both parties need to take responsibility for their own happiness and address their own needs for development. This involves learning to accept themselves but also learning to accept the other as they are. You can’t expect them to change. If the partner chooses to change, that is a bonus and this joint development will allow them to move forward together. Continue reading

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