One of the most difficult things for someone entering the work force for the first time is that they have no relevant experience so they have to make the best of what experiences they have had. So I advise you to get some experience – virtually any experience that you can talk about. It could be going on an educational trip, it could be a work placement, it could be volunteering for a charity, it could be in a sports team, choir or band, it could be being part of a youth scheme in the summer, it could be going out of your way to assist people or perhaps you have been able to do some paid work already. Then you need to work out what you have learnt from the time you have spent doing these activities then work out if any of this could be relevant to a future employer. Continue reading
So how do you answer the salary question if it is asked in an interview? The simple answer is that you need to be vague and talk in terms of ranges. It is probable that the company have given some idea of the salary either in an advert, through an agency or through informal inquiries before you applied. When you put in your application there will be an assumption that the salary on offer is more or less in line with what you are likely to accept. Having said that in most roles there is some opportunity to negotiate – even in public sector appointments. Continue reading
The first thing to understand is that although there seems to be an apparently limit less number of questions that could be asked there are really only three. And these are:
Can you do the job?
Do you want the job?
Will you fit in?
Every question you will be asked will address one of these three concerns. The strange thing is that most interviewers won’t even know this. Continue reading
Each session was usually instigated by something that was on our mind or something that had happened to us in the intervening period. We found that the sessions had a natural progression and a unique timeliness about them. We also realised how much our own friendship was deepening as we learnt to value each other and develop strategies to enhance our connection and communication. This was a very real and unexpected outcome of our work together. Continue reading
It is interesting that when Veronica and I first started to work together to explore relationships, it never occurred to us that as the time progressed we would effectively limbically develop each other. However from the outset we set clear boundaries, researched topics of interest and relevance, participated enthusiastically in each other’s planned activities, gave each other positive and constructive feedback and were committed to attending the meetings. As I have mentioned before much to our surprise we did not talk about men very often or relationships for that matter. Continue reading
The authors suggest that most of our emotional development is achieved during our pre verbal years and requires ‘mountains of repetition’ and ‘years of long-standing togetherness’ to write permanent changes into a brain’s open book. In a relationship one mind revises another; one heart changes its partner. Continue reading
To be securely attached you would have experienced all or most of the following ingredients in your childhood:-
You would have been raised by people who you knew loved you and were prepared to express and demonstrate this, they would have always been there for you, established clear boundaries to help you feel safe, helped you to adopt a clear set of values, taken time to listen to and helped you to interpret your feelings, thoughts and ideas, encouraged you in all your interests, validated your emotions and assisted you in your emotional development. They would have helped you to be the best you could be, celebrated your achievements, accepted your weaknesses, encouraged you to be empathetic with others, given you constructive feedback when they thought it would help you and taught you to give constructive feedback when you were unhappy about someone else’s behaviour. They would have allowed you to depend on them when you were young and celebrated your independence when you were ready. Finally they would have modelled a successful and loving relationship with a partner. Continue reading
For us, evolving love was a journey rather than a destination. We realised that as we changed, it would change. We also realised that people we had previously been attracted ceased to interest us and people with different qualities started coming into our lives (or maybe we just started to notice them).
Although there is no map or template, for this part of the journey we did gather hints or suggestions from some of the authors who have eluded to it. Continue reading
In my previous blog I talked about a concept called the Psychological Bingo Board and explained how we in effect programme our personality based on the behaviours and beliefs which enable us to get attention when we are growing up. The idea behind the Psychological Bingo Board is that we have within us potentially all … Continue reading
‘Men should be dynamic, problem solving, in control, go-getting, vital, successful and soft as and when required. Men’s magazines are about tight abs, not how you feel. Currently there is no real way of reaching men to discuss how they feel. As a bloke, if you go out with your mates, you drink a few pints, you talk sport, you might moan about the missus, but you won’t talk about your feelings, about how you can’t cope. Your mates would run a mile. They don’t know how to talk themselves. Men don’t; it is not seemly’.